I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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