i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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