shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
