He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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