areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
