I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
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You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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