to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
