There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
