come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
