even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
