You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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