How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
