i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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