Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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