My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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