Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
