Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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