I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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