whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
