It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.