I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
