Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'