okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN