So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
