Do you still have your period?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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