super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
