I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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