i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
