I accidentally burped into my bong.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
