just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
