man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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