The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
