And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
