She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Still dying that you shit outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize