White coat. Heels.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
