yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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