my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
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when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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