Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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