so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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