Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
