i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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