Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
