His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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