There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
