he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
