i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
