Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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