His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
