She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
