What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
