I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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