He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
