Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
