so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell