Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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