you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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