His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
