Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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