see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
