I think im going to throw up on grandma
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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