I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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