I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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