We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
