I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
is this the sara with the beer cane?
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He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
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If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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