She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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