yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
