I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
