but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
